moonbeam
Are You....
Dun dun dun...
WELL, guess what is coming up?! That's right Friday the 13th, which is immediately followed by Valentines Day! Gee, I wonder...
Yeah well, life sux in that area, actually come to think of it, life aint too shabby. I mean I've got a TON of shit going on w/ me right now, buuut considering the circumstances, it's not as bad as I make it.
Like, the fam and I hvn't had any serious fighting for quite a while, and it's great! (knock on wood). Things seem to turn to debates and bickering more now instead of full blown violent raging fights, and I sure don't miss 'em.
I mean, I, all @ the same time, hv depression, hypoglicemia, strep throat, and just found out that it's possible I could hv ADD. But it's almost a relief. I mean, the depression is getting milder, changing my diet more for hypoglicemia is helping me lose some extra weight, and strep throat doesn't last very long. Also, even if I do have ADD, then I would know, that my whole life, the times when I needed soo much extra time, always lost my train of thought and 4got things easily, that I wasn't stupid. B/c I was always afraid I had a learning disability b/c I felt soo stupid for spending hrs. on hmk. each night; but myt counselors kept testing me 4 that, and nothing was wrong in that area. So I thought, maybe it's me, and I studied so much and would just make the same good grades everyone else in my class did. But now, if they end up being right about it, I could just take a pill and soar to the head of the class w/ no fear, anxiety and doubt. GEEZ! whaat a revelatioN!
Ok, I still hv to wait a month b4 I know 4 sure...soo I'll get off of that...
The other thing, is what I said in my previous journal..
Did I intimidate this person? WEll I must have since I hvn't talked to them in 3 wks... Once again, my mouth has run away w/ me and I once again screwed up the possibility of even a deeper friendship not to mention a relationship... Well I best be stop dreaimng, you know you've hit rock bottom when all your friends' parents, and friends want to hook you up w/ their youngest son... Yet I always resist their offer, b/c I'm still waiting, and am not interested in any flings for the meantime, I'm ready and waiting and am here...
Yeah well, life sux in that area, actually come to think of it, life aint too shabby. I mean I've got a TON of shit going on w/ me right now, buuut considering the circumstances, it's not as bad as I make it.
Like, the fam and I hvn't had any serious fighting for quite a while, and it's great! (knock on wood). Things seem to turn to debates and bickering more now instead of full blown violent raging fights, and I sure don't miss 'em.
I mean, I, all @ the same time, hv depression, hypoglicemia, strep throat, and just found out that it's possible I could hv ADD. But it's almost a relief. I mean, the depression is getting milder, changing my diet more for hypoglicemia is helping me lose some extra weight, and strep throat doesn't last very long. Also, even if I do have ADD, then I would know, that my whole life, the times when I needed soo much extra time, always lost my train of thought and 4got things easily, that I wasn't stupid. B/c I was always afraid I had a learning disability b/c I felt soo stupid for spending hrs. on hmk. each night; but myt counselors kept testing me 4 that, and nothing was wrong in that area. So I thought, maybe it's me, and I studied so much and would just make the same good grades everyone else in my class did. But now, if they end up being right about it, I could just take a pill and soar to the head of the class w/ no fear, anxiety and doubt. GEEZ! whaat a revelatioN!
Ok, I still hv to wait a month b4 I know 4 sure...soo I'll get off of that...
The other thing, is what I said in my previous journal..
Did I intimidate this person? WEll I must have since I hvn't talked to them in 3 wks... Once again, my mouth has run away w/ me and I once again screwed up the possibility of even a deeper friendship not to mention a relationship... Well I best be stop dreaimng, you know you've hit rock bottom when all your friends' parents, and friends want to hook you up w/ their youngest son... Yet I always resist their offer, b/c I'm still waiting, and am not interested in any flings for the meantime, I'm ready and waiting and am here...
No thinkers - Feed my brain...
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I can't describe it and I can't hide it. - I found who I am supposed to love to pieces: Everyone.
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